The Quiet Thread of Mentorship Through my Life

If I look back at my life with a little honesty, I realise that many of the most important lessons I have learned did not come from books, classrooms, or training programs. They came from people. From conversations, observations, and moments of guidance that seemed small at the time but proved significant later.

Mentorship is often presented as something formal. A senior guiding a junior. A structured relationship where advice flows in one direction. But in my experience, mentorship rarely works that way. It is usually quieter than that. It happens through influence, through example, and through the steady shaping of how we think about the world.

When I think about the mentors in my life, the first person who comes to mind is my father.

The First Mentor: Learning to Think
My father is a mathematician, and perhaps because of that, he approaches life with a certain calm logic. Growing up, I never remember him sitting me down for long lectures about how to live or what decisions to make. Instead, he demonstrated a way of thinking. Whenever a problem appeared, his approach was almost always the same. Observe first. Analyse what you see. Then decide.

At the time, it seemed like a simple habit. Today I realise it was a method. Observation, analysis, decision. A sequence that has quietly shaped how I approach challenges in my own life.

There is another idea he often repeats, one that has stayed with me for decades. He says that decisions are the steps you take to move forward. Without decisions, you remain where you are.
It is an idea that stayed with me long enough that I eventually explored it deeply while writing about decision making.

Many people spend too much time waiting for perfect clarity. They want all the information before they act. But life rarely offers that luxury. Progress requires movement, and movement requires decisions. Even imperfect decisions teach you something about the path ahead.
Being a mathematician, my father naturally approaches problems logically. Yet beneath that logic, there is also a deeper lesson. Problems exist to be understood, and once understood, they can be solved step by step. Watching him approach life this way left a deeper impression on me than any formal lesson could have.

Mentors Appear in Many Forms
As life moves forward, mentors appear in different forms. Some guide us in childhood, others appear in professional life, and sometimes mentorship arrives through friendship or unexpected conversations. Teachers shape how we approach knowledge. Managers shape how we approach responsibility. Colleagues challenge our thinking and push us to improve. Sometimes a mentor offers encouragement. Sometimes a mentor offers a challenge. Both forms are valuable. Often, these individuals do not even realise the role they are playing. What stays with you over the years are the conversations, questions, and small observations. thesIf we remain attentive, these small moments accumulate and slowly shape the way we see the world.

Professional Mentors: Seeing Potential Before You Do
Two of the most important mentors in my professional life appeared during my years at Lattice Semiconductor. One of them was my manager for fifteen years. Over that long stretch of time, he did far more than supervise my work. He encouraged me to think beyond the immediate problem in front of me (I can still recall that conversation from 2001) and to look at the larger picture (something he said again, today). He challenged my assumptions, asked difficult questions, and gradually expanded the scope of the work I was willing to take on.

Early on, he also introduced me to another leader in the organisation who would become equally important in my development. From time to time, he would call me into his office or invite me to sit with him at the café. We would talk about life, family, and problems I was working on, sometimes for quite a while. Many of those problems had nothing to do with his own work, yet he would patiently listen and offer ideas or perspectives that helped me see things differently. Years later, when he was about to retire, I asked him why he had taken that kind of interest in my work. His answer stayed with me. He said, “I saw a young man with a great deal of untapped potential. Neither he nor the people around him seemed to realise what he might be capable of.”

Between the two of them, something interesting happened. They kept grooming me for larger responsibilities long before I had fully considered those possibilities myself. They would bring me into conversations about strategy. They would ask me to take on projects that felt slightly outside my comfort zone. They would treat me as someone capable of more responsibility than I was yet claiming for myself. Then one day, when the moment arrived, both of them asked me to lead a business unit.
Looking back, that moment did not come out of nowhere. It was the result of years of quiet mentorship. They had seen something in me before I had fully seen it myself. Their belief slowly expanded my own confidence.
That, perhaps, is one of the most powerful things a mentor can do. They help you see possibilities that you had not yet recognised in yourself.

A Mentor in Friendship
Another person I think of as a mentor is my best friend, someone I met through work many years ago. When I first met him, something about his personality reminded me of a close friend I had back in India. Perhaps that familiarity made the connection easy, because before long we had become good friends. Over the years I have learned a great deal from him, though our relationship was never about formal advice or guidance. It was simply the steady influence of someone whose character you respect. Watching how he handled difficult situations, how he spoke his mind, and how he stood his ground left a strong impression on me.
One of the most important lessons I learned from him was the importance of not allowing others to tread on you. There are moments in life when you must stand up for yourself, even when it is uncomfortable. Courage is not always dramatic. Sometimes it is simply the willingness to speak clearly about what you believe is right.
Friendship can be a powerful form of mentorship. In many ways, the people closest to us shape our character as much as any teacher or manager. Their example quietly influences the standards we set for ourselves.

A Mentor Who Helped Me Understand Myself
Years later, during my time at Intel, I had the opportunity to work with a leadership coach who became another important influence in my journey. Our conversations were not about technical problems or business strategy. Instead, they were about something far more personal. He helped me understand how I think, how I approach challenges, and where I could become better. Some of the observations he shared about me were things I had never fully recognised about myself. Hearing them forced me to look inward. It was both eye-opening and deeply valuable. The process was not about changing who I was, but about understanding myself more clearly so that I could grow with intention.
The experience left a strong impression on me. So much so that when the time came for my daughter to enter the workforce, I asked him if he would take her under his wing for a while. My reasoning was simple. Many of the lessons I had learned about myself came much later in my career. If she could learn those things early, she would begin her professional journey with far greater clarity than most of us ever had.

Learning Even From Difficult People
Over time I have also learned another important lesson about learning from people. Not all mentors are people we admire or even like. Some of the most valuable lessons come from people whose behaviour we would never want to imitate. If we keep our minds open, every person becomes a source of learning. From some people, we learn what to do. From others, we learn what not to do. Both lessons are equally valuable.
When we observe a leader who inspires a team, we learn how trust and clarity motivate people. When we observe someone who creates confusion or conflict, we learn just as much about the consequences of poor judgment or poor communication. The important thing is not to dismiss people entirely simply because we disagree with them. Even the most difficult personalities can teach us something if we are willing to observe carefully. In that sense, mentorship is not limited to a few individuals. It becomes a way of engaging with the world.
Over the years, people often ask me how they might find mentors in their own lives.wh

How to Find Mentors
People often ask how they can find mentors in their own lives. The truth is that mentorship rarely begins with a formal request. It begins with curiosity.
Go Where the Work Happens
If you already know the field you want to pursue, place yourself where the work is happening. Every industry has clusters of activity, communities where experienced people exchange ideas and solve problems. When you enter those environments with genuine curiosity, you increase the chances of meeting people who can guide you.
Ask to Learn by Observing
If you are still exploring your direction, one of the most powerful things you can do is ask experienced people if you can simply observe their work. Many will decline, but occasionally someone will say yes. Spending even a few days seeing how someone approaches their profession can teach you more than months of speculation.
Offer Help in Exchange for Learning
Another simple approach is to offer help in exchange for learning. Early in your career, the tasks you perform may seem small or unimportant, but those moments allow you to see how teams operate, how decisions are made, and how organisations function.
Humility often opens doors that ambition alone cannot. Over time, these small interactions begin to deepen. Advice turns into guidance. Guidance turns into trust. And eventually you realise that someone has quietly become a mentor in your life.

The Cycle of Mentorship
Then something interesting happens. One day, you notice that someone younger is asking you the same questions you once asked others. They are looking for perspective, guidance, and reassurance about the path ahead.At that moment you realise that mentorship is not only something we receive. It is something we pass forward.
When I reflect on the mentors in my life, my father stands at the beginning of that journey, quietly demonstrating a way of thinking that shaped everything that followed. Through his example, he taught me how to observe carefully, analyse logically, and move forward through decisions. Later in life, mentors in my professional world saw possibilities in me before I fully recognised them myself. Their confidence helped shape my own. Taken together, these influences form a quiet thread running through the years. Mentors rarely change our lives through dramatic moments. More often, they change the way we see ourselves, the way we think about problems, and the way we move forward.
And once that change happens, the path ahead begins to look very different.

The greatest mentors do not simply teach you how to succeed; they help you understand who you are.

👁️ 5 views